Damn! Its my birthday again. I do appreciate the well wishes but I want to point this out- I
hate birthdays! No, not yours, just mine. Any time I say this, I get the strange
looks. I'm infinitely thankful for the gift of life everyday but the yearly
social construct makes me uncomfortable and I hope this post helps others
understand why I feel this way.
1) The Attention: I'm not a fan of
attention I don't deserve. You wake up and suddenly the spotlight is on you. “Happy
Birthday!!!” Uhh, okay, thanks. I don't
know exactly what it is about birthdays. I just don't like people making a big
deal out of it. It's always nice to have few cronies genuinely wish me a happy
birthday but when people who one way or the another find their way into my
friends list on Facebook start posting on my wall phony "HBDs" (yup it’s
never spelt in full) just so they can get me to write on their walls too when it’s
their birthdays, It makes me sick. I see them as a reminder that I have not
done anything good with my life, but I also feel very uncomfortable when other
people congratulate me.
2)
Mom Deserves the Credit: I didn't do
a damn thing when I was born, Mom did all of the heavy pushing - Mothers should
get the cake
3) The Phone Calls: Its 2am. You have slipped into REM sleep. Dreaming
about a place you’d never be. Suddenly, your phone rings so loud you get
scared. You try to see who’s calling at this ungodly hour but the screen is too
bright. Since you awake you answer. A voice excitedly screams, “Happy Birthday!!!”
Awkward silence. The voice comes back again, “Were you sleeping?” No, I was training to die. “Just wanted
to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday. Goodnight.” Well you did. And your prize is that i now loathe you! Now sing me back to sleep. If anyone
wants to call me up today and tell me how glad they are that I'm alive, I fully
support that. I would love to have that conversation with you. But if you call
on my birthday I will probably ignore the call.
4) The Reminder That I'm Getting Old: On my birthdays, thanks to loads
of birthday wishes I am constantly reminded of how old I'm getting. This gives
me a flashback of my past life and I try to think of achievements which always
end up in me being disappointed. I wish birthdays could be a day when a person
wakes up like any normal day and goes through life without being told how old
s/he is getting.
5) I Think Time Is Irrelevant In Our Lives: I have thought of time to
somewhat be irrelevant to our lives. The fact that the earth has fully revolved
around the sun since I was pushed into this world has nothing to do with my
life at the present. I feel time is man-made and relative. We can be as old as
we want to be whenever and as young as we want to be whenever. The earths
revolving around the sun should not be a determinant of how we act and feel.
6) My Birthday Is In July: It’s a love/hate thing that my birthday is
in the summer. Until 18, it meant me being on a holiday and being free to do
what I want, wake up and not regret. Now, my mom is never around during the
summer, my close friends either live far away from me or are on holidays
elsewhere on different continents so I never get together to celebrate with
them. I am always stuck with a bunch of strangers on my birthday (they actually
turn out fun though) and I end up binge drinking. I have always wished for one
of those birthdays where the few people I know and love will all be around so
we can spend the day doing what we all love most.
On this
day all I ask for is less love and a big fat joint. Is that too much to ask?
